Betrayal is Their Story Not Yours

What can we learn from betrayal, especially from an enlightened friend? I once heard the wonderful Iyanla Van Zant say, paraphrasing here, that spiritual people are the first to turn downright nasty to other spiritual people.

If you are reacting with “Oh, yeah,” then I empathize with you! It is rare thankfully. But some of my most powerful learning experiences came from “colleagues” who deliberately excluded me, or gossiped about me, or set me up to be ripped off. And I am doing just fine, thank you. But it hurt.

How does this happen? They say they have “no ego” but the opposite is true in these cases. These people crave becoming famous, or overwhelmingly desire befriending someone famous, and they will throw you under the bus to help make it happen.

And sometimes, it doesn’t even work out how they planned. They don’t really get to meet the celebrity or become famous themselves. Ha!

My wish for you? Know that GREATER friends and GREATER happenings are just around the corner WHEN you get through it. And here is how I got through it:

  • Stop the “I should have said this or done that” from playing in your head like a torturous mantra. Take 3 deep breaths and pet a dog or cat or go for a walk.
  • Do nothing TO them, WITH them, or FOR them. The lesson is over now. No need to engage again.
  • Betrayal is their story not yours.
  • Realize maybe you were not meant to see it coming so you could grow stronger in the aftermath.
  • Rest assured; one day you will meet up on the Other Side. YOU will be proud of how you handled yourself. I am proud of you too!


Susanne Wilson The Carefree Medium is a scientifically-validated medium, author, and intuition teacher based in Carefree, Arizona.

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19 thoughts on “Betrayal is Their Story Not Yours”

  1. Dear Susanne,
    I have read this a few times and smile while doing so, you see a long ago newspaper article about me had only the tiniest amount of accurate information about me and the bulk of it inaccurate and here it is all these years later having an impact on how I am perceived and then quickly ostracized. I had already determined that it ultimately helped me to be less judgemental myself and perhaps angels have protected me from some that would be hurtful interactions. Your comments helped me realize I am correct. I look forward to SoulSynergy on 20th. May joyous laughter fill your day (and your life). And hello to Diane Calderon!

  2. Yes, but in a different way (because for some unknown reason, no one knows how really famous I am – yep, in my own head, ha)! I love your statement: “Do nothing to them, with them or for them – because that can be used in every betrayal, disrespectful or unacceptable situation AND, you can absolve yourself of the trauma drama, don’t you think? The only caveat I find is that addiction recovery programs want you to pray for good things to happen to them – to pray FOR them, for God’s Sake! I just want to give them the two fingered salute. Does that stuff those people did still linger in your mind even after you’ve been proactive about the situation? Is praying for your betrayer something Spirit Guides and such want us to do? Cripes!

  3. I just have to say again: that your statement about doing nothing to them doing nothing with them or doing nothing for them is so appropriate! It’s so appropriate in those difficult times. And as far as praying for the other person? I’ve learned that you don’t have to do that right away-it may take years before you can do that! And that’s perfectly OK! Thank you so much for this post! It just came back up on my Facebook page and it really hits home with me! I hope all is well and I hope to see you soon!

    • Dear wonderful Terri, I am with you here! I do not pray for those who hurt me as I believe that prayer should involve consent from the person for whom I pray. I do pray that Angels of Light surround that person to hopefully illuminate their issues and give them clarity. And then we are done. Much love to you!

  4. Susanne!!!! This is beautiful and helpful. I too have had similar lessons and each one I learned so much about myself. Thank you for writing this beautiful piece and I will take the advise given. I have learned these ‘friends’ help me become stronger inside myself. Also because I am interested in authentic communication and friendship I have had to realize not everyone feels the same way as I do about friendship. I am grateful for you and your work in the work. So happy to know you and call you friend.
    Blessings and laughter, Tina Powers

    • Tina, dear friend, although it pains me to know you have similarly suffered, I agree there is lots we can learn about ourselves in the aftermath. I am working hard to continually follow my own advice here. Hugs to you!

  5. Susanne, you are only Bright Light energy, which will attract Bright Loght energy people around you . You chose this circumstance for a learning lesson, no matter how painful it is …. and here you are, helping others from it !!! Love and healing energy sent your way !

  6. Powerful post here. It’s been very hard to forget about one large betrayal from someone I’d endeavored to help before. (Um, I do not picture myself on a cross, btw:-) It involved the loss of a great deal of money. Since it’s easy for me to think I somehow earned that, I wonder if that energy played into the outcome as much as anything.

    As time passes, what helps is imagining wearing a cape of liquid mirrors: what anyone sends, they receive in return.

    Just finished “Soul Smart” and have loved recommending it to folks for all kinds of reasons. Thank you for sharing your light and wisdom, Susanne.

    Biggest hugs,


    • Brett, thank you!
      I have noticed that many of the betrayal stories center on someone defrauding or tricking people out of large sums of money. I wonder how that conversation will go, once we all meetup on the other side.
      I like the cape of liquid mirrors, will recommend that. Thank you for reading Soul Smart 🙂

  7. is there ever a benefit to explaining to the person why we feel betrayed? How does the person learn from their actions, if they aren’t even aware that they have hear someone? Does learning ever come from being able to articulate those hurt feelings to those who really hurt you, especially if one does have a relationship with that person over years and through many difficult situations? For years, I’ve been holding on to my feelings about what I perceive to be a friend’s betrayal. I’ve thought so many times about discussing it with them. I wonder if they might have an explanation of their behavior that I could benefit from understanding

    • Great question, Patrice! You might try making a soul to soul connection with them first and see how that goes. This means get centered and grounded, close your eyes and picture the person standing before you. Say what you need to say. Acknowledge any learning that you gained from the betrayal experience. Then you can either “bless them and let them go” or you have prepped the energy to have the real conversation, whichever feels right.

  8. I have had 3 “best” friends betray and hurt me over the past 30 years. Each one was a bestie for about 10 years or so. What does that say about me? Each betrayal was deeply painful, but this last one, I have tried to rise above and continue a more guarded version of the friendship. This does not jive with your “do nothing to them, with them, or for them” guidance. Maybe I’m doing the wrong thing, but at least I now what to expect. Sadly, I also know that having another “best friend” is probably not for me.

  9. Two things I learned early on are that:

    1. People may have an understanding of how things work in the universe — what may be called spiritual law or divine law. They may share teachings about these principles with others, but sadly they don’t live in accordance with their own instruction and often can’t see this. Awareness or understanding is one thing and executing against that understanding is another.

    2. Having psychic or intuitive abilities does not in and of itself mean that a person is more spiritually advanced than others. This is an assumption a lot of people make, but those are two separate things.

    Hang in there — sending love,


    • That is the honest truth. My most recent betrayal was the friend I loved unconditionally and welcomed in to my heart and home. This person stole all my book royalties.

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